The Red Tent

premenstrual syndrome (abbr.: PMS)

noun

any of a complex of symptoms (including emotional tension and fluid retention) experienced by some women in the days immediately before menstruation.

Don't touch me
Don't look at me in a funny way
Don't take too long to respond to a question
Don't walk slowly in front of me
Don't even breathe if you can help it
Don't talk too much
Don't laugh at my frustration to try and ease the mood
Just buy me some chocolate
Sit 5 feet away
And shut the hell up

-kelly lutz

Death and the menstrual cycle.  Today was a bit challenging to think about dying.  Fuck death, fuck everything, forget it all.  I don't want to sit next to you.  I don't want to sit next to myself.  Just let me knit quietly in my room with some music playing.  I would like to divulge in complete distraction until the moment she arrives.  Do I feel okay about this perspective? Yes, I do.

I contemplated it for several hours on the cushion today.  I showed up for it all today.  Yeah, give me a fucking award.  What do I have to show for it?  Not sure exactly, but something felt good in showing up with the grouch and not freaking out by running out of the shrine room and screaming.  PMS is such an interesting flavor and experience.  Tears abound last night, and today it's full of aggression.  

I don't have anything fancy to write...so just fuck off. please. and thank you.